Unlocking the Power of Connection: Understanding Bids in Relationships

Have you ever experienced a moment of shared laughter with your partner while watching a funny scene in a show? Or perhaps felt a surge of excitement together when spotting a dog on the street? These seemingly small moments hold significant meaning in the realm of relationships.

Bids are small, everyday attempts at connection that our partners make towards us, or we make towards them.

Renowned couples psychologists, John and Julie Gottman, coined the term “bids” to describe these everyday attempts at connection between partners. From a met smile to a shared experience, bids are the subtle gestures and cues that contribute to the fabric of our relationships.

Responding positively to these bids strengthens the emotional bond between partners, fostering trust, understanding, and closeness.

The Impact of Bids on Relationships

Research has shown that responding positively to these bids strengthens the emotional bond between partners, fostering trust, understanding, and closeness. However, when bids are met with indifference, rejection, or dismissal, they can erode the foundation of the relationship, leading to feelings of loneliness, resentment, and disconnection.

Navigating Bids for Deeper Connection

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to overlook these bids. Yet, being attuned to our partner’s gestures and cues is crucial for maintaining a strong and healthy relationship. By slowing down and being present in moments of connection, we can better catch and respond to our partner’s bids.

Practicing Intentional Connection

Make a conscious effort to tune in to your partner’s bids, whether it’s a shared glance or a warm embrace. By prioritizing presence and attentiveness in your interactions, you can cultivate a deeper sense of connection and intimacy in your relationship.

Take the First Step Towards Deeper Connection

Start by slowing down and listening for your partner’s bids. Notice the small moments of connection that arise naturally in your daily life. By acknowledging and responding to these bids with warmth and affection, you can strengthen the emotional bond between you and your partner.

In a world filled with distractions, intentional connection is more important than ever. Embrace the power of bids in your relationship and watch as your connection flourishes.

Myrna Olaya

Myrna is a bilingual therapist at EHMA Therapy who specializes in helping intercultural couples navigate love and life. She is currently pursuing her Ph.D in Marriage and Family Therapy.

Book a consultation to learn more about working with Myrna.


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